Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You took a bar mat shot.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
