I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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