the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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