So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
