Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
