he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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