Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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