Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
