There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
