yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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