That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
