since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
So apparently I’m into choking now
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
