Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
