Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
