Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
