i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
