he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
