1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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