Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
