'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
