who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
