I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
