I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
