Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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