I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
