Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We don't watch enough power rangers
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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