I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
