I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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