What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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