I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
