i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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