Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
