yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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