I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
