I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Who died my cat blue again?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
