i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
