peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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