the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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