so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
