are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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