Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
