You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
