i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize