Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
