This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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