I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
