I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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