He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
