you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
