I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
